Monday, May 28, 2012

Is It Really That Important

   All last week I had been doing some thinking and it finally hit me. SEX, why do so many people think this is the most important part of a relationship and why do they feel you can't have a relationship without it. SEX has become just like a hobby to some people and a marathon to others.

I been heard the news that Megan Good and her fiance would not have sex until after they are married. I really have to applaud them both for that because these days to much emphasis is put on sex. But for some reason the media is just now getting the information and I was blowed away by how many women felt that she must be crazy. Now I have heard all the crazy talk from men before, but to hear so many females talking like that well it really got me to thinking, that would explain why African American women are the highest statistics for  HIV and AIDS cases. Since when did SEX become such a hobby and not something done out of love. Now don't get me wrong I'm no prude and yes I've had sex  {heck I have kids}, but at the same time I have never been one for just having sex with someone simple because it seem like the thing to do. I guess as you get older and you have girls of your own you tend to see things a lot differently then you use to when you were younger. Then again I can't use age in this factor because I know women out there my age or older who still just view sex as sex. They feel that if men can do it so can women. Well let me say this THAT IS NOT TRUE. We are held to a much higher standard then men., is that fair no it's not but at the same time ladies think about this. If you have kids married or not and for whatever the reason the man is no longer around who are the kids going to look up to? Us that's who. When men are left trying to raise daughters and they have no clue of what's going on, who do they turn to? Once again us. Who did God see to put here to be a help meet for Adam? That's right Eve {a woman}.

I have never been one to think that it takes SEX to have a great and healthy relationship the key to that for me is communication. Everyone please understand this.....Relationships don't start with SEX they start by talking. If you can get and keep great communication between you and your mate there is nothing anyone can say or do to come between you two. No if your relationship is based on SEX then understand this ladies and fellows the next person may come along and offer better SEX. So when that happens where will that leave you? I will tell you where. Either stuck in a relationship being cheated on or being replaced with better SEX person.
See men you have to understand this about women. If you can get into her heart and mind you can have all that's good inside of her. But if you only want to get into her panties then you really  are asking for trouble because in case you didn't know or you forgot, Women are emotionally creatures. With that being said you could be opening up a whole bad can of worms if you're not careful of the women you just decided to "sleep with".
Now ladies you have to be careful also because you have those men out there who don't understand "One Night Stand". See you may just want to get back at "your man" because you found out he slept with "her". But not realizing that the dude you used is not hearing that and he want more. Now you have a stalker on your hands simply because you didn't want to keep your legs closed.

Now I say all that to say this. I'm not jumping on ladies here but the ultimate decision lies on us ladies, to give in or not to give in. We have to understand that a man will only due what we allow him to do and if we allow him to do us then they will do us.

So yes the realistic thing here would be for me to say NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE right. Well there are some who don't see it that way and for those of you who don't just do me this one favor.
The next time you're thinking about having SEX with someone realize that you're not just having SEX with them you're having SEX with everyone they have and are having it with. Try to picture yourself long term with this person and if you can't then maybe just maybe you need to move on and wait.

This is real talk: If they love, respect and really want to be with you then waiting should not be a problem. Yes it may be hard but I'm sure in the end you both will look at each other in a different light.

With Love

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