Tuesday, October 30, 2012

      ................... DON'T GIVE A FOR SURE THING FOR A MAYBE THING..............

In life we all want to be happy and we tend to look for and focus on those who makes us happy at that time never really looking at the bigger picture. We focus on the ones who tell us what we want to hear when we want to hear it, never really questioning their real intentions. We will run at the first sign of trouble not taking the time to sit down and try to figure out the problem or problems all because we have someone else in our ear feeding us everything we think we need at that moment and it all sounds so good to us. We fail to remember or recognize that no one is perfect and irregardless of who we choose to be with there will always be problems, no they may not be the same problems you encountered in your last relationship but there will be problems and they may even be greater then the last problems you had.

There is never a such thing as a perfect relationship and if you think it is then you will forever be alone in life searching for perfection that does not exist. Just because someone has came along to tell you what you want to hear for that moment don't mean they are going to be around forever. The same way you had intentions on being with them they have their own intentions on trying to be there for you. I'm not saying it may not work because it could. I'm just saying why would you give up a for sure love for a maybe love. Maybe they will love you maybe they won't, maybe they'll be around forever, maybe they won't.
We have to learn how to step outside of our problems and see that person the way we saw them when we first met them. We have to learn how to not put our lives in someone elses hands and expect for them to supply us with everything that we feel we need but fail to tell them about. We need to realize there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and we can't continue to put unrealistic expectations on someone that we can't even live up to ourselves. We can't expect for someone to know what our problems are if we fail to express them to them. I mean after all they may be considered your other half but they have not been deemed as mind readers. If you fail to express your problems and concerns to the other person the only one that suffers is you because now you have to live with all that stuff built up on the inside of you and risk losing the one person who may love you unconditionally. Someone who has looked past all your faults and shortcomings and loved you regardless. Someone who you seemed to have turned your back on because you felt they weren't giving you what you needed when they didn't even know you needed it because you failed to express it to them.
If you have found someone already that looks past your faults, even though you may not admit it you do have them, and has loved you no matter what then you may need to realize that what you need and want is in that person and if you took the time out to get back to square one you would see all the good that was there to begin with. You would find the reason that you fell in love with that person in the first place. Who knows if loved right they just might change those things that you don't seem to like about them. Understand we can't change anyone but everyone will change for that special someone. You just have to be their reason to want to change, you have to be that love they can't live without. But know you can't be any of that if you're out there looking for someone to fill a void in your life. If you continue to search you will always be leaving a for sure thing for a maybe thing that may not always be around when you need them the most.
A relationship is only as good as you make it to be and if your're in it 100% then you need to be fair and share that with the other person. Don't treat someone in a way you don't want to be treated because it's bound to come back on you. You can't love with half a heart you have to love with your whole heart or it won't work at all.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

It Does Exist......

   You have people out there who don't seem to believe that KARMA is a real thing. Be it good or bad it will come back full circle.

  Here is the definition of what most people believe karma to be:                                                       What goes around comes around. What you do to others will eventually come back on you.

  Now most people would like to think that this is a very untrue statement because they feel what they did to someone may have been justified or they just don't care because they've did  many things many times and don't think it has came back to them. 

  Well let me be the one to tell you this: You don't always get back what you put out there. Meaning the way that you wrong someone is not always the way that it will come back to you and it's not necessarily going to be the person you wronged or hurt is going to be the one it comes through.
I mean you may have cheated on someone and they forgave you and took you back, so you figure "Well they won't or haven't cheated on me so I'm good." But that is where you are wrong. You see the next person you fall in love with and want to be with is more then likely going to be the one who breaks you down and treat you how you treated the other person. I'm sure to you it's not fair and they were wrong for doing you like that but for some reason you seem to have forgotten how you treated others in your past relationships.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is the most popular phrase then you have "What goes around comes around."

    Don't get me wrong there is also good karma out there, but most people seem to forget about this part because they feel they have did so much for others and they still can't catch a break. Understand this once again: Those people that you helped may not be the ones who bring back the help you gave them and it may not come as quickly as you feel it should. We have to learn that the people we helped actually helped us in the process without us evening knowing it.

   You can't expect to go around in life causing problems and treating people wrong and not expect it to come back your way. The sad part about it is when it comes back it's normally tens times worse then what you dished out.

   The thing is this: If you want good then do good by others because as long as you continue to do wrong by others wrong is destined to come back to you, whether you believe it or not. 
Like most people say: Do right by me and I'll do right by you, do wrong by me and you will get what's coming to you one way or another. It may not be today, tomorrow or even this year but some where down the line it's going to come back and hit you where it hurts the most. Most of the time those places are our hearts and for some it's their wallet.

Bottom Line: You can't go around your whole life thinking it's ok to screw people over because in the end you will only be screwing yourself. So don't expect to prosper when you're out here wronging everybody simply because you think you can. Karma is a mug and it's no fun when the rabbit got the gun. So the next time you're about to wrong someone think about this "How would I feel if they did that to me?" If you can't take it then don't dish it out!! 


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Bride or Wife

    The night seems magical. You don't know why but you feel that something great is about to happen to you.

 He takes you to a very nice spot that is sentimental for the both of you and he finally ask you that question you have been waiting your whole life for. "Will you marry me?"
 It seems as if time has really stop but you know that can't and didn't happen. You finally can mustard up that one magical word "YES!!"

  So now that all of that has happened reality starts to sink in. You start focusing on the wedding making all the plans, picking that special place for y'all to say your I Do's. Now what happens? I'll tell you what happens, you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. You need to sit down and ask yourself some major questions.

  The main thing you need to figure out is " Do  you want to be a bride or a wife?" Because they are two totally different roles. If you are going into this wedding with only thoughts of being a bride for that day then you are already headed for a disaster and the marriage is doomed from the start.

  So many women fail to look at the big picture and all they focus on is the wedding the moment where they will have eyes on them and no one else. They don't see all the red flags that have been thrown on the field, they have blinders on and don't see the big detour signs telling them not to travel down this road or the wrong path sign.  Women need to start paying attention to details of the relationship and not details of the wedding. Because after all the hoopla has ended irregardless of what you may think or feel reality will set in whether you want it to or not.

Now if you go into the marriage with the mindset of being a wife then things will be a lot better. Not saying it's going to be perfect because no relationship is but it will eliminate a lot of drama and unnecessary fussing and arguing. You have to want a marriage and not just a wedding. Some may ask is there a difference, yes there is a difference. A wife will stand by her man through all types of storms, no matter what comes their way she may bend but she won't break. When things come up short she will have her husbands back.
A bride will run and flee at the first sight of trouble, because her thoughts will be " I didn't sign up for all this." When in all actuality that is exactly what she signed up for. She was just to blinded by the thought of having a wedding she didn't think about the what ifs. A bride will not want to hear or try to work out any types of problems because in her mind that is not what she's there for. She is just there to say she had a wedding and got married. Nothing more nothing less.
So when you're getting ready to embark on that part of your life you have to sit down, weigh your options and decide do you want to be a BRIDE or a WIFE. Because either decision will change your life for the rest of you life!!
Decide: Do you want a lifetime of smiles and joy or Do you want a lifetime of tears and pain. The choice is your to make. Choose wisely!!


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Time To Clean

  If you're trying to figure out why you're not moving ahead or being blessed as you think you should you need to try cleaning out your house
 You can't expect God to send you a mate when you're still holding on to items from your previous relationships. I mean I'm sure the new person don't want to come in and see pictures and other items of your EX.  The same way you would find it wrong and disrespectful if it happened to you,  they will feel the same way.                                                                                                                        You can't expect God to bless you with a bigger home when you can't or just simply won't keep the smaller one you got clean and in order. I mean how is he suppose to bless you with a 5 bedroom house when you won't keep your 2 bedroom apartment clean. Yea it may not be what you want but it's what you have right now. Remember we all have to start somewhere. Also why would He send you a man or woman if you're being plain nasty. Nobody wants a nasty  mate.                                                                                                                                                              You can't expect a new car when you don't care how you treat the old one or the borrowed one.  No it's not yours but that is why you don't have your own because you can't take care of someone else's.  I mean so what if your car is over 10 years old, you should still treat it like you did when you first got it. Who wants to ride with you when you have all kinds of fast food wrappers and cups under your seat, with a sea of ants. That is just not cool. But you keep praying for a new car.                            You can't expect God to grant you with that raise you have been praying for when you're always late for work or complaining the whole time you're there. It's the small things that matter that we may not take notice of but God does. So stop talking about how bad your job is and start being thankful for the job you have. Where would you be without it?    

 There comes a point in our lives where we have to sit down take inventory and clean out our house and our lives. If it's a mate you desire then you have to make room in your closet and life for that person. You can't get the mate if there is no room for them in your life. If you're to busy for yourself then you are too busy for a mate.

 Bottom Line:  Learn how to clean out all the old mess before you try to proceed because all you will be doing is adding to your clutter.We need to learn to how to be mindful of the small things so that when we get the big things we will appreciate them even more.

Chelle Booker

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Words Make A Difference

Now I know I may step on some toes but to be honest I really don't care. Wouldn't be me or the truth if it didn't bother someone.

We as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc need to get a grip on the way we speak about and around our youth. How can we expect for them to speak and respect someone else if they don't hear it from us. I have seen so many parents call their kids lil nigga, bad ass, pimp, hard, ghetto, lil hoes and the list goes on. Now me being a parent I'm trying to phantom calling kids those types of names and thinking there is nothing wrong with it. I mean how can you even think that it's cute for one second. I mean don't you know that our kids are formed off the words we speak into their lives. So if all they hear are you calling them some type of thug name or any other name that is not positive then they are going to give you what you're calling them.

Words carry more weight then you would ever know. So how can you expect for you child to grow up and become a productive member in society if all they hear are the horrible names you call them. If they hear you "bragging" bout how bad they are then they are going to continue to be bad. If they hear you calling out the other names lil nigga, pimp, lil hoe then that is what you're going to get. And please don't get mad when they start calling you those names back because that is what you have taught them. We have to learn that you tend to get out what you put in, and if you put positive words and actions into your child then you will get positive back from that child. But if all you're putting into that child is negative words and actions then you can expect to get that back 100 times over. And please don't get mad when you get it back because you have noone but yourself to blame for the "monster" you cause to come forth. You spoke it therefore you got it and now you catching all hell dealing with it.

You won't think it's so cute when that child goes to school using those words and the teacher is looking at you like you crazy or calling DFACS to your home. Then you will feel as though they did you wrong, but once again the only person you can blame is you. Or how about when you out in public and trying to handle some important business and the child start using those words. I can imagine the look that would come across your face. Then the next thing you're going to say is "Who taught you that"? When you already know dang well it was you who did it but now you're embarrased and it's not so cute. Or how about when that girl of your grows up and becomes the lil hoe that you have called her to be. You see that is what you called her when she was younger and you thouoght it was cute. Now she in middle school actting out and you looking crazy once again all because you thought that lil nick name was something cute. Now you finding out it wasn't and will never be.

Words really do make a difference and you would find that out if you took the time to speak positive words around your child and not negative things that you think are cute at that moment. Trust me there will never be anything cute about calling your child a nigga or a bad ass. There will never be anything cute about calling you child a lil hoe or bitch. There will never be anything cute about not speaking life into your child.

The sooner you can learn that Words Make A Difference the sooner you can start mending some of the negative ideas and spirits you have spoken over your child. We want productive members of society not more statics.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Letting Go and Being Thankful

This had been on my mind for a while and after Sunday in church I really got confirmation that this is something I should write about.

In life you have to realize and understand not everyone who say they mean and wish you well really do. They will smile in your face and at the same time stab or have someone else stab you in the back while they standing in front of you talking to you. There are plenty of Judases out there in the world and in your life and I can promise you that you wouldn't even suspect half of them. Some of them can be as close as your own family members. You have to understand that your happiness and well being is not really in the best interest of most people. Yea they say it is but at the same time they are wishing they had what you have or they are secretly wishing you to fail and not succeed. The sooner you realize you can't share everything with everyone the better off you will be. Always remember that not everyone will share your happiness and you can't share your happiness with everyone. You have to learn how to live to please God and yourself and not allow others to dictate or jeopardize your happiness and well being. Stay away from negative people and negative thoughts because they carry more weight then you would ever know. At the same time you have to recognize negativity for negativity and not mistake facts for negativity. Pray about everything but at the same time bind up any negative thoughts that someone may have spoken in your presence and on your life. No one really knows what's best for you but God Himself. Realize that most people who speak negative things about your situations really want what you have or they are just unhappy people because their lives didn't turn out the way they wanted it to. Either way just know those are people who you really need to keep at arms length if you can't eliminate them from your life.

Now understand at the same time those haters and nay-sayers are used by the enemy to try and deter us from our destination but know this; God uses your enemies to catapult you into your destiny. They push us to work harder and achieve what we're trying to achieve without evening knowing they are doing it. Please believe if they knew what they were doing they wouldn't be doing it. They would figure out a way to really be on your side, but know they are on the side they're on because God wants and needs them there to get you to where He wants you to be.

You have to come to a point in your life when you know and realize that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Yes we have all heard the saying: "Some people come into your life for a lifetime and some for a season". You have to learn how to separate the lifetime people from the seasonal people. Once you can do that you can really start to find out who is for you and who is just along for the ride.  After you find that out then somethings will become a lot easier for  you to do, like cutting off those dead branches so you may continue to grow and prosper.

Never keep backstabbers around because they will only end up killing you and or your dreams. Never allow anyone or anything to stop you from reaching your destiny.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Private Lives via Social Media

I was up early this morning and something hit me, Social Media.

I see so many post on FB and Twitter with people going back and forth with each other and I'm trying to figure out WHY!
You have to understand that Facebook is not a place to air your dirty laundry, FB is not a place for you to post about what's going on in your home between you and your mate, your momma/daddy, and or boss. FB is not a place for you to pick a fight with Shaquanda and them knowing good and well when you see them in person you're not going to say a word. It really disturbs me to see so many people doing this. If you are having a problem with your mate; be it husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend FB is not the people you need to be talking to. You need to go to that person and sit down with them because I can promise you after you post what you post it's not going to get any better. Now I'm not sure bout your friends list but I know mine don't have to many PhD's on it. If it's advice or answers you're seeking the best person to help you in that department is GOD. I can promise you He will never lead you wrong. Yea you will have plenty of people to give you their input but how many of them really have your best interest at hand. How many of them are really rooting for you to do good and see you succeed. I can promise you not very many. Yea the may say they are but those are just words they know you want to hear at that moment. You have to know that not everyone that wishes you well really mean it. Not everyone that smiles in your face are your friends.

I hear so many people say Facebook is the devil, it broke up my relationship. Well let me share this with you, we both know that is not true. Because before there was FB there was Myspace, emails, text messages and the oldest one pagers. We all knew what the 69 code meant when we saw it. Now the only person you have to blame for your relationship messing up is yourself. I mean did you not think before you posted how horrible your mate was. Did you somehow forget when you sent that message to the inbox that you were married or in a committed relationship. Did you not take into consideration how your mate would feel when you commented on that picture of you ex-jump off. I mean if you really sit back and look at things from the real world you would realize that only you are to blame for your break up or the problems in you home. No one else.

We have to wake up and grow up so that we may understand that somethings are better left in our head. Somethings are better left inside your home between the two of you because your business is not everybody's business. I can guarantee you that the same way you were attracted to the person you're with so is someone else that calls themselves your friend. So they sit back, wait and watch because they know before long the bad advice they have been giving you will soon pay off. Then you looking stupid because they hooked up

Now let me leave you with this: SOCIAL MEDIA SHOULD NOT BE YOUR DR.